I have been trying to stay positive, but right now I am going to just let it all out.
I am freaking miserable. I have been able to do nothing but sleep, lay down, try not to puke, try to keep from crying, etc, for days.
I haven't even managed to go visit my friend who had surgery. Hell, I haven't even spoken to her in days, other than a "yes, I'm alive" text.
I don't want to talk to anyone, I don't want to do anything or go anywhere.
I just want to stop feeling like utter crap all the livelong day.
I sleep so much. It's not even right. I am nauseated most of the time. Like now, and forever.
I want to stay in my hermit hole till this baby is here. I HAD to leave the house today (for literally the first time since what? Saturday?) for having dinner with the kids. I had to fight off tears all the way there and back. Nausea, so freaking hot. Tried to walk around Target for half an hour while waiting to pick them up, and spent the whole time worried about puking, sweating horribly, with extremely uncomfortable Braxton-Hicks contractions, trying not to cry.
People were looking at me funny.
And I just don't care. I resent anything that requires me to put on clothes or be in a non horizontal position for more than a few minutes. The couch is my best friend.
Grocery shopping on Saturday was the most horrible buying spree ever. It was all processed crap cause I cannot manage to cook real food now. Canned ravioli, canned soup, ramen, sandwich stuff, ice cream. I didn't even buy fresh produce except for a couple of mangoes and some peaches.
I also hate whining all the damn time. That's all I feel like I do.
Chris is SO awesome, he is the most supportive, attentive, and patient person, and I am so very grateful for him. He has made this all bearable for me. But I feel so bad for him having to listen to me. Even turning over or sitting up means horrible groans and ouches from me. I feel like such a wimp.
I mean, I know I am growing a whole human being in there, but still, seriously. People do this all the flipping time.
Sigh.... My life online is pain free, which is why I have chosen to primarily only communicate through the internet recently. I can focus on other things, rather than my misery.
Anyway, that is all. I felt like getting it out there. Maybe I'll feel better soon. I doubt it, though.